LIFE'S LOOSE ENDS

'How long are you going to keep us in suspense? Tell us the plain truth: are you the Messiah?'

'Tell us, 'they asked Jesus, 'are you the one John said was going to come, or should we expect someone else?'

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice... 'My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?'

Now we see only puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we shall see face to face. My knowledge now is partial; then it will be made whole, like God's knowledge of me.

'I do not know if he is a sinner or not,' the man replied. 'One thing I do know: I was blind and now I see.'

'Do you want us to go and pull up the weeds?' they asked him. 'No,' he answered, 'because as you gather the weeds you might pull up some of the wheat along with them. Let the wheat and the weeds both grow together until harvest.'

I have yet many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.

O Lord, how long must I call for help before you listen, before you save us from violence?

I still rebel and complain against God... How I wish I knew where to find him, and knew how to go where he is. I would state my case before him and present all the arguments in my favour. I want to know what he would say and how he would answer me.

(John 10:24, GNB; Matthew 11:3, GNB; Matthew 27:46, RSV; 1 Corinthians 13:12, NEB; John 9:25, GNB; Matthew 13:28-29, GNB; John 16:12, RSV; Habakkuk 1:2, GNB; Job 23:1-5, GNB)


We all live in a world of loose ends. It seems that God is not very tidy, any more than nature is neat and tidy. He leaves us with many questions unanswered, and they are the deep and important questions. It is perhaps one of the sure signs that we have left infancy and childhood behind that we not only recognise but are also grateful that this is so. This is part of our growth as persons.

There is something in most of us that would like to have everything tied up in neat parcels, and tucked away in appropriate pigeon-holes, so that these matters no longer perplex us, or compel us to think about them any more. But this is not how God works. How comforting and safe it would be if we were always told what to do, particularly in the field of ethics, but God does not absolve us from the responsibilities of the freedom he has given us, compelling us to make our own decisions, and live by faith rather than sight. There is no infallible guidance for fallible men and women which will ensure that we always know the right course to take.

It would seem clear from a reading of the gospels that our hankering for plain, straightforward and authoritative answers to our religious questions and perplexities would not commend itself to Jesus. He sometimes declined to give any such simple and direct answer. Instead he referred people to his teaching as a whole, to his whole attitude and manner of life, and then sent the question down again to the court of their own judgment for a verdict.

It is not that we are reduced to struggling through life on a balance of probabilities. Chesterton reminded us that the only virtue of having an open mind is that, like an open mouth, you can close it on something. We come as close to the certainty we crave as we are ever likely to do at the point of our commitment to Christ, when we can say, 'One thing I know: I was blind and I can see -- however dimly,' and trust him for the rest.


Man has an inveterate habit of what I should call a premature tidiness. He is a little previous, strapping up the luggage of his mind before he has everything in, summing up and pronouncing judgment before he has heard all the evidence, dabbing on labels without noting the contents of the parcels. We classify too hurriedly; it saves the bother of tedious discrimination -- tares, wheat, sheep, goats, those who are right, those who are wrong.

A.E. Whitham, The Pastures of His Presence

In recent years the magnificent pine trees in Kensington Park... have been dying. Experts say there can be little doubt that this is due to the misdirected tidiness of the gardeners, who swept up the old dead pine-needles and left the roots without natural comfort and protection.

Old newspaper cutting

Never get things too clear. Religion can't be clear. In this mixed-up life there is always an element of unclearness... If I could understand religion as I understand that two and two make four, it would not be worth understanding. Religion can't be clear if it is worth having. To me, if I can see things through, I get uneasy -- I feel it's a fake, I know I have left something out, I've made a mistake.

Baron von Hugel, in Introduction to Letters from Baron Friedrick von Hugel to a Niece

I went to the theatre
With the author of a successful play.
He insisted on explaining everything;
Told me what to watch;
The details of directions,
The errors of the property man,
The foibles of the star.
He anticipated all my surprises
And ruined the evening.
Never again! And mark you,
The greatest author of all
Made no such mistake.

Christopher Morley, No Coaching

Coherency is God's gift; he gives it freely but it can only be received by those who preserve an untidiness of mind. The tidy mind is not the truthful mind; the utterance that leaves no room for doubt or place for question is the fruit of a mind that is full of unwarranted conclusions. To think truly, and to speak and act truthfully... a minister of the Word must deliberately preserve an untidy mind. This untidiness of mind will irritate him; he will often be weary of living in what seems a mental muddle... Generally his respite consists in the realisation that to bear the burden of this muddle is the true way of preserving real knowledge.

R.E.C. Browne, The Ministry of the Word

But all that seems to make nonsense of the world, all the irrationalities and defeats, the waste, the sheer negation and futility which makes life seem like a tale told by an idiot, are concentrated in the cross of Christ. That was utter, irrational meaninglessness, the apparent denial of any faith in God, any confidence in truth or goodness.

It is no use asking, What sense does it-make?. The whole point is, surely, that Jesus made sense of it, working negatively and non-meaning into the ultimate pattern of God's purpose.

F.R. Barry, Asking the Right Questions

Job never found an answer to the problem of unmerited suffering. The problem remained insoluble, but in it he met God. That is where man always meets God. That is where man most frequently meets his fellows. For he is so constituted that he needs problems more than solutions. His soul thrives on questions, but grows sickly on answers -- especially answers served up by others and, most of all, answers laid down by authority.

John V. Taylor, The Go-Between God

Whenever we are confronted by a crossroads, whenever we are in doubt, whenever our mind sees two alternatives, instead of saying, 'Oh God, make me blind, Oh God, help me not to see, Oh God, give me loyalty to what I now know to be untrue,' we should say, 'God is casting a ray of light which is a ray of reality on something I have outgrown -- the smallness of my original vision. I have come to a point where I can see more and deeper, thanks be to God.' That is not perplexity, it is not bewilderment, it is not the anguished doubt of the believer who hides his head and hopes that he will be able to revert to the age of eight.

Metropolitan Anthony, God and Man

It must be acknowledged that this is an ambiguous world. If atheism is improbable there are times when theism does not seem very probable either. In the face of suffering, waste, and apparent aimlessness it is hard to have faith in God... and obviously it is harder for some people than for others... Although I have said that theism is the more reasonable of the two beliefs, I do not think the arguments have ever been conclusive; by its very nature faith falls short of certitude and has its own vulnerability. The world remains ambiguous, and it is part of what it means to be a finite creature that we have to take our stand in this world and decide for faith or against it, without knowing in advance the answers to all our questions. Only in the end, the Christian believes, will faith be changed to sight.

John Macquarrie, God and Secularity

We are not in a rigid and static universe, but one that is dynamic and growing; the important thing is not to have correct information about God' but to be susceptible to God's spirit, to be growingly aware of his pressures upon our life... we are travellers, always on the road, and rejoicing to be on the road, for there, as on the Emmaus Road, Christ reveals himself, not in absolute information, but in the burning heart.

W.B.J. Martin, Five Minutes to Twelve

To these questions (the ambiguities of life) only two answers are possible. The first is, 'I do not know', and the second 'I believe’. God is ambiguous even in his Son. He is so concerned that we should love light rather than darkness that he creates a world in which the two are not to be distinguished, save by the fact that one is light, and the other is darkness.

E.L. Allen, Thou Must Venture

We can do worse than remember a principle which both gives us a firm Rock and leaves us the maximum flexibility for our minds. The principle: Hold to Christ, and for the rest be totally uncommitted.

Herbert Butterfield, Christianity and History


Thank you, Lord, for the times when I sought a clear word from you and received it. Help me to thank you even more for the times when I did not. Help me to understand what you are saying to me when you are silent. Help me especially, if I am something of a perfectionist who likes to have everything neat and tidy, to accept that this does not seem to be the way you work. Let me remember always, with a wholesome check on my dogmatism, that there is a wide sweep to your purposes that defies my little calculations.

Give me the courage to act on my own insights, without needing to be told what to do, and not to pretend to certainties I do not have. Above all, make me sure of Jesus, who passed this way before me and made sense of it all. And when I crave for more light on the way I travel, let me be honest enough to ask myself if I am true to the light I already have.

Make me more patient and understanding with those people who keep asking, 'Why?' Forgive me because I often try to fit people into neat categories, hang precise labels on them, and dismiss those who don't readily fit into my little scheme of things.

Thank you for the opportunities you give me to grow according to the gracious design you have for my life, and for the assurance that one day I shall truly see.


A Benediction

Now the God of peace, who brought back from the dead that great shepherd of the sheep, our Lord Jesus, by the blood of the everlasting agreement, equip you thoroughly for the doing of his will! May he effect in you everything that pleases him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Still Waters, Deep Waters ed. By Rowland Croucher pp. 155-160

CHOOSE LIFE

For this commandment which I command you this day is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven, that you should say, 'Who will go up for us to heaven, and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?' Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, 'Who will go over the sea for us, and bring it to us, that we may hear and do it?' But the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it... I have set before you this day life and good, death and evil... therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live...

'Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; be not frightened, neither be dismayed; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.'

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God.

In the shadow of thy wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. O my enemies, do not exult over me; I have fallen, but shall rise again; though I dwell in darkness, the Lord is my light. Although the fig-tree does not burgeon, the vines bear no fruit, the olive crop fails, the orchards yield no food, the fold is bereft of its flock and there are no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the Lord and rejoice in the God of my deliverance I have forgotten what happiness is...

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.

For we should like you to realise... that the things we had to undergo in Asia were more of a burden than we could carry, so that we despaired of coming through alive... we were carrying our own death warrant with us, and it has taught us not to rely on ourselves but only on God, who raises the dead to life. So we do not lose heart.

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, behold the new has come.

(Deuteronomy 30: 11-15, 19, RSV; Joshua 1: 9, RSV; Psalm 42: 11, RSV; Psalm 57: 1, RSV; Micah 7: 8, NEB; Habakkuk 3: 17-18, NEB; Lamentations 3: 17, 21-23, RSV: 2 Corinthians 1: 8-9, JB; 2 Corinthians 4: 16, RSV; 2 Corinthians 5: 17, RSV)




The image of the valley evokes different pictures. It may be a beautiful place, full of tranquillity and fruitfulness, a haven of safety and satisfaction. But it may at times be a dark and difficult area where a sense of vulnerability and exposure fill us with fear and terrible insecurity. It is gloomy and dangerous and we are conscious of being enclosed by the hills with no way out. Escape seems impossible and we are unable to conceive of any worthwhile future. No far horizons beckon us to new and exciting possibilities. The long wide view so easily seen from the summit of the mountains is painfully absent here. Everywhere we are surrounded by the barrier of impenetrable hills and there is no apparent way of moving beyond them. Hope fails, courage melts, dreams topple and we are reduced to an enervating and sorrowful existence with the spectre of self-pity constantly dogging our disheartened steps.

We cannot live on this planet without sometimes finding ourselves in such a valley. Perhaps we blunder there by our own foolishness and the bitter remorse of this does nothing to alleviate our despair at finding ourselves in such a situation. More often, we are plunged into the valley by circumstances which hurtle in upon us -- unexpected, unwanted, unasked. Without consultation with us, we are thrown from the higher ground of the mountains, over the precipice and into the deep valley below with a frightening rapidity for which we are unprepared. Failure, illness, betrayal, bereavement and a host of other related calamities can pitch us without warning into the dark valley experience.

What we do when we find ourselves so unwillingly there is of tremendous importance. It is usual to feel overwhelmed with fear, despair, exhaustion and sometimes deep bitterness and anger. Such emotions are characteristic of the valley. All hope seems gone. The laughter and happiness of other places flees. We want most of all to curl up and sleep in a small safe hole where we can avoid the overwhelming weariness and pain of the place. But such luxuries are seldom permitted and we find ourselves plodding along day after weary day wondering when it will all end.

In utter defiance of the terrifying misery and hopelessness of the valley, God speaks. What he says is in such blatant contradiction of the circumstances that it leaves the listener stunned: ' My presence is sufficient to sustain the most feeble traveller on the arduous valley trek. There are no dead ends. There is definitely a way out into the more invigorating and beautiful heights of the mountains and you will find yourself further along the range than you were previously. More than this, there is even a rare beauty to be found in the valley, a different, but wonderful music, and where you have felt so isolated and alone there are many travelling companions to share the journey and enrich you.'

Whilst the valley experience may underline the fact that our control over our own destiny is more limited than we had thought, and our freedom to choose more hedged about by restrictions than we had believed, it is nevertheless true that we retain the freedom to choose our basic mind-set. To believe or not to believe, to choose life or to choose death, to open our minds to the transforming power of the Christ who promises to bring resurrection, or to remain buried in our disaster -- these things we may decide. Not that choosing life is easy or painless -- it, alas, involves the agony of a death also. A very real and very hard death. But it issues in a birth into new life and full of promise and unimagined possibilities. 'Behold, I have set before you Life and death... Choose life.'




We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from us but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude to any given set of circumstances, to choose one's way.

Victor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

What if I cannot recognise the given as blessing? What if it is not sunshine that pours down on us, but hailstones like hammer-blows? What if it is acid rain? Here again, the gift within the gift is opportunity. I have the opportunity, for example, to do something about that acid rain, face the facts, inform myself about the causes, go to their roots, alert others, band together with them for self-help, for protest. By taking each opportunity as it is offered, 1 show myself grateful... Why not drop the complications we put in our own way? What brings fulfilment is gratefulness, the simple response of our heart to this given life in all its fullness.

David Steindl-Rast, Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer

We require a perspective that reaches beyond the particularity of events and encompasses our life as a whole. Since all the events that we experience are part of the moving process of our life, they reflect something of our past and they also carry the possibilities of our future. Those events that we perceive as adversities may be experienced as painful, and we may wish that they had been avoided; but they may also be the vehicles by which an expanded awareness of the meaning of our life is being opened up to us.

The choice we have before us... is whether we shall react directly to the event itself, or whether we shall place it in the context of the movement of our rife and let it speak to us. In general it is more usual for setbacks or other painful occurrences to serve as the events that have a message for us.

Ira Progoff, At a Journal Workshop

In every life there are a few special moments that count for more than all the rest because they meant the taking of a stand, a self-commitment, a decisive choice... The turning points in life are generally few in number. They are always an encounter... before which the subject cannot remain neutral. One has to take sides, commit oneself.

Paul Tournier, The Seasons of Life

. . .There is so much pain in the world. What does it mean to suffer so much if our lives are nothing more than the blink of an eye?... I learned a long time ago, Reuven, that the blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is something. A span of life is nothing. But the man who lives that span, he is something. He can fill that tiny span with meaning, so its quality is immeasurable though its quantity may be insignificant. Do you understand what I am saying? A man must fill his life with meaning; meaning is not automatically given to life. It is hard work to fill one's life with meaning.

Chaim Potok, The Chosen

If we do not believe, the waves engulf us, the winds blow, nourishment fails, sickness lays us low or kills us, the divine power is impotent or remote. If, on the other hand, we believe, the waters are welcoming and sweet, the bread is multiplied, our eyes are open, the dead rise again, the power of God is as it were drawn from him by force and spreads throughout all nature.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

In any lifetime... there are innumerable little deaths -always painful and frightening (that can't be avoided): the break-up of a love affair; the loss of a childish faith; seeing one's child leave home for the first time; moving house; the loss of a job; retirement. Cling to what you have at that moment, and you're lost. Unclench your hands and let it slip away, and you are ready to receive the unimagined new life. If we learn that habit from all the small occasions for dying which may come to us, then when the last letting-go is called for, it will be familiar and confident. Our formation of that habit will be immeasurably strengthened as we keep our eyes on the truth about God and life revealed in Jesus, whose attitude was: 'I lay down my life to receive it again. No-one has robbed me of it. I am laying it down of my own free will. I have the inner authority to lay it down and to receive it back again. This charge I received from my Father' (John 10: 17-18).

So the choice for every human being is between death or death -- the death of a letting go that hurts like hell but leads to resurrection, or the death of slow extinction as all the energies are spent on getting and keeping instead of living and giving.

John V. Taylor, A Matter of Life and Death

If there are any among us who are at their wit's end, they ought to try for once to put aside all their grievances and perhaps even all their petitions and simply praise God... Nothing so changes us -- precisely in the darkest moments of life -- as the praise of God. We can praise human persons only when we have seen what they accomplish. But we must praise God in order to see what he accomplishes. And therefore we should praise him at the very moments in life when there seems to be no way out- Then we shall learn to see the way out for our own lives, simply because God is there at the end of every way and every blind alley.

Helmut Thielicke, The Prayer that Spans the World




Father, when the way is hard and I am overwhelmed and shattered by my situation, help me to choose life. By the mysterious working of your Spirit in my mind, rekindle in me the courage I need. Strengthen my feeble resolve to allow you to perform your healing work deep within me. Help me to co-operate with you in the mending of my brokenness and increase my faith that you will keep your word and out of this death experience you will bring new and vital life.

By your help and grace I choose not to remain in bitterness and despair, but to allow you to lead me beyond it. I choose not to indulge in self-pity, but to cultivate the spirit of gratitude for all the good things which have come to me. I choose to follow your leading along the valley in the hope that you will bring me safely through it and up into the clear air of the mountains where you will give me views I have not yet glimpsed. For your mercy and compassion, I thank you. For your faithfulness which is new every morning, I praise you.

For your life which overcomes all deaths and swallows them up in abundant life, I worship you.




A Benediction

Rise up with Christ into a new day, a new life; because for anyone who is in Christ, there is a new creation. The old has gone and the new is here. Therefore, go forth in joy. Amen.

From High Mountains Deep Valleys, ed. Rowland Croucher, Albatross/Lion, chapter 25.